Baby Steps

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The problem with babies is that we can’t remember being them.

You might have the odd fleeting glance of what it’s like to be cherub-like but I think it’s safe to say that the vast majority of us didn’t have a sufficient development of our consciousness to remember what it’s like to spend 24/7 as a baby.

Fortunately, that isn’t a problem. Look around – you know a baby, right? Or at least you’ll have seen one.

Next time you’re in the presence of a baby, really observe it.

What do you notice about the baby’s natural state? I’m not talking about the moments when said baby has shit right up its back or is hungry and wants the world to know about it. I’m talking about the moments when all the baby’s primitive needs have been satisfied (albeit temporarily – we all know that story) and the baby just is.

Watch him. Is he worried? Is he anxious? Is he thinking about what’s coming next? Is he lamenting the fact that he shat on his mother’s carpet just yesterday? Is he looking at you and wondering whether you really like him and what you’ll say about him behind his back?

Or is he just busy in his business of just being?

Look closer. Perhaps even extend a finger to him. What does he do? Does he take it? I bet he does. He doesn’t question your motives or wonder what he will have to do for you now that he’s taken what you had to offer him. He just accepts what you have to give him. And he does it with awe.

But then you look down and find that half your breakfast is on your t-shirt. And you remember that you ran out of the house this morning in such a rush that you forgot to brush your teeth. You’ve got some funky morning breath going on. Does he care? Does he hell. He accepts you as you are – egg stained t-shirt and eye watering breath be damned.

And then! Guess what he does? You’ll never guess. He farts. Sweet lord, he rips out a fart that a 6 and a half foot man would be proud of. Do his hands shoot up to cover his eyes in horror? Does he look around for someone to blame? No. He’s still busy in the business of being.

Then his mum walks into the room, scoops him up for a squeeze and puts him back down on the other side of the room. It’s unfamiliar territory. Does he panic? Does he kick off and say no, put me back – it’s scary over here and I liked it over there? Or does he screw his courage to the sticking place, hunker down and set about exploring his new location? If he looks hard enough he’ll almost certainly find something over here that he can put into his mouth…

He doesn’t question anything. He doesn’t waste his days trying to put out fires all around him in a bid to control his environment. He very simply and very gently accepts what is. How is he able to do that?

It’s because he’s a clever little sod and he recognises the intrinsic nature of his value. More than that, he recognises the intrinsic nature of your value. He knows that no one held him up in the delivery room to slap his ass and say quick, someone give this baby some value for God’s sake. He knows that there was no need for anyone to do that because he and his value come as a package deal. They are not capable of being separated.

And please don’t for one second think I can’t hear you. Yes, I know you’re a grown-ass adult. Yes, I know you have problems. You most likely have a boss to keep happy, parents to check in on, bills to pay, maybe even kids to keep safe. I feel ‘ya.

Stop rolling your eyes for one second and hear this. Actually, no. Go a step further and feel this. That baby-like state is available to you AT ANY TIME. Not just when all your cards line up perfectly. Not just when you get the promotion. Not just when you lose those 10 lbs. And not just when your kid finally sleeps through the whole damn night. It’s always there. It has to be doesn’t it? It was the first state you ever experienced. Your body and your mind remember it, even if the grown-ass version of you doesn’t. Your body knows exactly how to do it and you’d still be there if you hadn’t taken on everything that life threw at you. If you hadn’t formed an opinion about everything. If you hadn’t judged everything as good or bad. If you hadn’t listened to Jesse on the playground.

Everything that’s happened to you during your time on the planet has coloured you. And that mix of colours is what makes up the beautiful, unique and irreplaceable you. But please don’t forget that it’s always open to you to question whether you like the colour you’re shining on the world. You’re a big girl (or boy) now and you get to question every single belief that you’re carrying around in that beautiful head of yours. I bet you can list half a dozen things that you do in a certain way because your mother did it that way. I know you’re busy but have you ever stopped to think about whether there’s another way to do those things? Not necessarily a better way. Or a worse way. How about your way?

Peel that onion and get back to the blank canvas that once was. Paint it with the colours that make your heart sing and don’t you dare listen to anyone who says that your colours don’t belong together. No one else is qualified to opine on your colours – how could they possibly be when they just aren’t you? And don’t forget that, by the same token, you aren’t qualified to opine on anyone else’s colours. Just see them and love them for what they are.

Rumi said that your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers that you’ve built within yourself against it.

Be more baby.

Be more, baby.